So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
