i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She even gives head with a lisp.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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