You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
