I'm so fucking centered right now
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
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