why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
