we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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