just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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