i don't like sucking hair
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
