the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
did i walk over a car last night?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
