I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize