yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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