We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Your topless pictures make me question reality
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
