Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
