did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
