I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize