They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
