You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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