If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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