my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
