But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im six kinds of drunk right now
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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