I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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