i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
