I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
farters have to be the big spoon...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
