exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
