Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
