After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
