oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
