What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
