i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
