did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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