Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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