Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Still dying that you shit outside
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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