so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
