I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Randomize
