Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
