i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
