he was CRYING into my vagina
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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