Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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