Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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