we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's just like the Real World with babies
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
