first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
