why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
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