ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
