u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you win again, gameday.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
