watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
