I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
