I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
