He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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