considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
