I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
