Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
