I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
