YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
