my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
