You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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