He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
