I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
