Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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