Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
