My nipple is on Facebook.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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