so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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