she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
