my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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