I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
