I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
